In no way am I a pro at motherhood yet, but it is definitely not what I expected. And that’s a good thing.
People gave me plenty opinions about what they defined motherhood to be before Payton was born. “You don’t know what love is til you’ve had a child.” Or “Your priorities will change once you’ve had a child.” And while most of those are true, they’re still not completely right.
You’re right, I have never loved someone the way I love Payton. No matter my mood or the time of day, I love her more than I could ever explain. Her smile, the way she looks at me…it melts my heart. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t know what love was before I had her. If anything, having Payton has shown me how to love everyone MORE. Watching my husband coo at her or change her diaper makes me fall in love with him more than I thought possible. And talking to my parents or my sisters make me realize how important they are in my life and how they truly were the first loves of my life (shoutout mami, papi, Ashley and Lauren, I love y’all so much). I am so lucky that having a daughter has taught me so much already!
As for my priorities changing, people were right. They have. My life is no longer about what I want to do, but what we want to do. Obviously Payton has little say in that right now, but I can’t imagine doing anything without her. Our “Sunday Fundays” are now accompanied by a cute little baby who somehow sleeps with everyone screaming at the football games. Or pool days with mom getting some sun and dad watching the tv while entertaining the baby. And we still go out with friends and stay out late. But our conversations are no longer gossip and more about how “advanced” our babies are and what their poop looked like that day. The biggest priority change I guess was my shopping habits. Yeah, I’ve always enjoyed shopping. Everyone knows that. But now I catch myself researching new baby clothes websites at 3am while feeding Payton or Pinteresting hair-dos for little girls (which are apparently further away than I thought, she is loosing hair instead of growing it). So yes, things have changed. But in my opinion, they’ve changed for the better. My world no longer revolves around me, but it is completely centered by this cute little baby who looks nothing like me (thankfully dad is really good looking). I am truly the luckiest mom in the world to have this precious bundle of love in life.